(Mad in Wonderland)

by Cameron Jace

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Alice manages to solve the riddles by the Cheshire Cat killer who kidnaps girls and sews a grin on their faces. She saves a girl named Constance who turns out to be a descendant of one of the girls Lewis Carroll photographed two centuries ago.

In a mad adventure, Alice learns about the secrets of Oxford University, then she is introduced to the Duchess from the books, now posing as Margaret Kent, a dishonest Parliament woman who uses Wonderland Monsters as assassins to serve high-caliber politicians.

Alice and the Pillar then travel to the Vatican to meet the White Queen who is reincarnated as Fabiola, one of the most respectable nuns in the world, trying her best to help people. Fabiola leads Alice to the final clue to catch the Cheshire who is looking for his grin, which Lewis had stolen from him. The Cheshire’s grin will grant him unimaginable powers in his quest to summon many Wonderland Monsters to use them in the mysterious Wonderland War.

Alice and the Pillar confront the Cheshire in a final battle in Ypres in Belgium, where a bizarre festival called Kattenstoet takes place. After the sky rains cats, Alice manages to save Constance with help of Jack Diamonds, the mysterious card-smelling boy who likes her unconditionally.

The Pillar shows Alice how to meet Lewis Carroll through a secret door in the Tom Tower in Oxford University. Lewis gives Alice a key and tells her to take care of it. Still, Alice is forced to give the Cheshire his grin back in exchange for saving Constance again. The grin grants the Cheshire the power to posses any one he wants.

In a final scene, Alice realizes that Jack Diamonds is actually her boyfriend Adam, one of the people she killed in a bus accident she can’t remember. Then the Cheshire visits her in the Asylum and tells her that she is mad and that this adventure only happened in her head. It was all just a figment of her mad imagination.

The two opposing teams, Manchester United and Chelsea FC, were fighting for the title in the final game of the season. The winner's prize would be a huge silver grail with ridiculously huge handles popping out like rabbit ears from both sides. Although it was no holy grail, it was to be handed, along with a few medals, by the Queen of England herself.

Unfortunately, Her Majesty couldn't come. One of her Welsh dogs had been suddenly sick. The poor dog, whose name was Maddog, had gorged on a sizable portion of the Queen's Brazilian nuts last night, eventually fated with a terrible case of chronic constipation. The Queen demanded she would not attend the game until Maddog pooped, which apparently never happened.

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